Funk is Rock—Put Some Respect on That Riff 🎸

 

You know, somebody told me the other day that my whole groove—my essence—was shaped by that smooth R&B and hip hop flavor. I had to pause, look around, and check if I’d accidently walked into the wrong movie. I mean, I damn near had to sit down and meditate with my inner child for a good ten minutes, because, baby, let me tell you: R&B did not shape this technicolor soul. And hip hop? Please. I love a good beat, but come on now, let’s not rewrite my own origin story.

Let’s get this crystal clear: what you call “pop music” I called Disney Soul, back before they put the mouse in a suit and locked up the groove. I started thinking about my very first concert, and let’s be honest, my memory’s a little hazy—was I 3? 4? 7? Who knows. Probably 7, but let’s not get caught up in time-travel, darling.

Picture this: my first concert. Purple lights, a guitar crying harder than your ex on Valentine’s Day, and a woman in a yellow dress about to faint on stage—that’s when I fell in love with the guitar. Not because it was polite, but because it was electric, wild, and unapologetically loud.

But hold up—don’t get it twisted. My romance with rock didn’t stop at that velvet revolution. It lived on in vinyls spinning in the garage, the speakers sweating out pure funk and psychedelic thunder. Sure, hip hop was doing its thing, and I respect it, but for me? My ears got baptized by a six-string preacher, not a beatbox prophet.

Let’s get funky for a second: I was vibing to the Parliament mothership, grooving with super freaks, and taking guitar trips through purple hazes. All of them with their own flavor, all of them tearing up the rulebook. And then—out of nowhere—I get told it was all just R&B. Excuse me? Who snuck that into the syllabus?

Here’s where I gotta set the record straight: Funk is not R&B. Funk is Rock’s wild cousin—the one who shows up to the family reunion wearing sequins and platform boots. Funk is the rhythm of the guitar, the electricity in your bones, not just some smooth croon and a two-step. R&B is beautiful, but Funk is a genre of Rock. Say it with me now.

And let’s be real—there are folks today who wouldn’t know Funk from a hole in the ground, and haven’t heard the real thing since bell bottoms were in style. I get a good laugh when someone says, “Oh, Funk didn’t die. There are bands just like the legends!” Listen, if we had another cosmic guitar wizard on the loose, we’d all know. That’s headline news, baby.

Take a lesson from the Queen herself: Tina Turner put the S in soul, but she sang over Funk and Rock. That’s why she’s the undisputed Queen of Rock and Roll. Not because she followed the rules, but because she set the damn stage on fire.

So, let’s wrap this up with a little truth serum: Funk IS Rock—and it’s one of the best genres to ever shake London, America, and every dance floor in between. If you disagree, well, I suggest you dust off your vinyl, turn up the amp, and let the guitar do the talking. That’s how you get schooled, baby.